Settle Down

The other night while catching up with my long lost roomie, Amy, I remembered a random experience from one of the greatest adventures of my life. No, not the mission, but rather my 2 week vaca to my dream land of London town (and Paris... but this story is from London).  I believe it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Kellie and our new found BYU study abroad friend, Ali, had spent the morning trying to find the LDS church, then sat through 3 hours listening to the good word and sweating. You see the air conditioning stopped working... awesome. And London is muggy.  Anyhoo.... so we went to church and then walked through Hyde park, enjoying seeing Albert Hall and Memorial. And of course the chairs....

we didn't pay......about that...

  Eventually we found our way to speakers corner and had a grand time listening to some crazy Brits get their free speech on.  After enjoying some soapbox rants, we walked across the street and found a GREAT store... kinda like H&M.... but I can't remember the real name. After spending a few hours shopping (yes...sinner, I know....)  Kellie and I grabbed our newly acquired gems and headed back to our hostel, Palmers 'Lodge. Now here's the whole reason for this post:

 As we were walking through the busy streets, this random old man grabs my attention because we acted like he wanted  to ask me a question.. So I slowed down and he said to me,

 "It's about time you got married and had children." 

uhhhhh.......whaaaaa????

Kellie, of course, started laughing uncontrollably which made me lose it, too (as always. That girls laugh is infectious!) What the RANDOM?!....for real. I loved it.  This is just another example of why I LOVE people. Thank you old man for telling me that. I'm sure everyone else agrees with you. They'd love it if I did actually listen to your suggestion..(command..?)

In a related note.... Is it ironic that my new favorite song right now is called "Settle Down"? I love everything about this.  Amy, (yay AMY!!! since you're pretty much the only person who reads this) thanks again for "approving" this song because it's about marriage.  Enjoy.

Cuddle Bug

This is how my bed is right now:

AKA: HEAVEN

This is because I happened to be blessed with 3 (yes, THREE) down comforters.

I love my life.

In the words of Fez, "Sometimes when I'm alone, I just love to cuddle"

Seriously. I really do love cuddling up in my bed. It's fantastic. Especially with this ridiculous weather we've been having lately. 

oh, Utah. Why is it winter already?

I'm watching you.... probably

 At work we have these great big windows that I love. Why do I love them? Well, not only does it make me feel like there is still a way to escape, BUT I can constantly participate in my favorite past time activity: people watching   I don't know why it's so fun to observe people, but it IS! Especially at places like Disneyland, or the beach, but anywhere where there is people is great. Those of you who share this passion understand why I love it, but there are sometimes those who, unfortunately, just think you're the weird girl who just sits and stares at people (true story). Either way, I don't care, and I love people watching. No matter where I am. AND I always feel like I might know someone. Thailand, Paris, London,...yes... the chances of me actually knowing anyone just randomly walking down the street are slim to ZERO, but I still get that feeling. Every time.

 Today there was a great show going on outside starring one very excited man-child. (I guess I should mention the fact that there is a bus stop in front of the store, which is why there are always so many people just hanging out outside). At first I thought this guy was just talking to his BFF on his bluetooth and telling him how exciting his 4 dates were this past weekend (he was throwing his hands up in the air flashing his 4 fingers like he was either ordering 4 orders of chicken mcnuggets from the McDonald's across the street, or he was just SO excited that he felt that his friend would understand it more if he showed him...over the phone..)

 Either way this guy was stellar.  My co-worker and I were just having a great time watching him. Then the hilarity level when up a notch when he turned around and we discovered that his ear was empty and he was really just talking to himself!

This is really how excited he was talking to himself.

So this guy was just a regular crazy, right? Well,  I wasn't sold on that idea just yet, so I went and asked him what was going on. Turns out my dear new friend, Jason, was just "excited.  You know...talking to myself."  We chatted for a little bit and found out where he lives, and what he does, and about how we both talk to ourselves sometimes (I'm rarely as animated or public as him...but let's be honest- who DOESN'T talk to themselves). That's all I really learned about Jason. I said goodbye and then went back into work to watch him again until the bus came and took him back to his apartment.

If I had to determine what the point of this post is (cause, let's be honest, is there ever any point to my posts...?.) I guess it would have to be that I just LOVE people. And I like talking to strangers. Not all the time, but every once in a while the urge to talk to a complete stranger and get to know their story is so strong it can not be suppressed (now, the urge to get to know the entire life story of my friends is a constant... so sorry if I always want to hang out and talk.....I will be that way until I know EVERYTHING....just a warning to those of you who I'm just getting to know.....which is none of you who read this blog, but whatevs....). Love thy neighbor. They could be your new best friend... you don't know...

So, the other day I was at a concert and the singer told us this story about how they met a happy newlywed couple at one of their shows. A year later they got a letter from the husband of this couple saying how they got a divorce because he cheated on his wife, and then expressed his appreciation for the band and continued by asking them to write a song about forgiveness, hope, yadda yadda yadda.. Good for him.

And that got me thinking....

Why do we feel the need to write to bands and express our feelings to them and tell them how they changed our life? I mean, don't get me wrong- there are DEFINITELY some bands/songs that changed and shaped my life and that I feel a strong connection/bond with. But I don't think I would ever write them a letter and tell them that. Maybe I'm just an ungrateful fan, or maybe I realize that they didn't write the song just for me, so I'm not about to sit down and write them a letter of gratitude (let's be honest, the only people getting letters from me these days are my two 'child" left on the mission...and they only get emails....).

With this is mind, I want to discuss an obsession of mine (yes, just one. I have too many). Although it's difficult for me to choose favorites in life (because it really depends on my mood), I've come to determine that my overall favorite band of all time is U2. This past May, my life-long dream/goal of experiencing their awesomeness in person came true (see U2 in concert... done and done.) oh man..I'm smiling RIGHT NOW just thinking about it! Retro-actively LOVE my life..Just look how happy I am:

I LOVE U2. I love that every time you tell someone that you love them back you say "I love you, too" . I love that when you hold up a peace sign it's like saying U2 (and representing peace and all of Asia - another love of mine). I love that anytime someone tells you "have a good day" (etc) you say "you too" back to them. See! It's great. I would say Bono and the The Edge did this on purpose, but I know the real story. They have music to match almost every single one of my moods. Just this morning I was feeling kind lazy and then Pandora played a U2 song that just got me so motivated for life. It was joyous.

The one song that seems to be my anthem in life right now is  "I Still Haven't Found What I'm looking For" Upon further study of the rest of the lyrics [cause although I might know every word while I'm actually SINGING ALONG with the song , I rarely pay enough attention to the words to really understand what it's saying (this has caused me to be appalled and shocked by some songs when I ACTUALLY read the lyrics and understand it... but...that's another story)]

So anyway... the WHOLE POINT to this blog post (cause let's be honest- there a myriad of topics I could address in this post ESPECIALLY since I haven't posted anything for the past 5 or so months...and I choose this?.......yeah......anyway........) is that even though I'm technically alive, I'm still trying to put together the pieces of my discombobulated life. And I constantly feel like "I still haven't found what I'm looking for". FOR REAL.  In all aspects in life is this true for me right now: Grad Schools,  boys (thanks everyone for your concern. I know I'm an old spinster in Mormon land......awesome), Jobs (ESPECIALLY jobs), etc, etc...


Please answer the following question:

Hilary is to success/purpose in life as:


A.Lady Gaga is to complete normalcy
B. BYU is to successfully receiving and holding onto a ball
C.Gigli is to winning an Oscar for best picture
D. The Titanic is to sailing across the Atlantic
E.  A, C and D
F. F M L

Congratulations!  5 points to you. You answered correctly.

So yes... I still haven't found what I'm looking for... but I also kinda love my life at the same time. I mean, just look at the song- look at all the cool things I've done in the mean time:

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil

Maybe I haven't done exactly that...but you get the point. Regardless of how I feel about my life in my most "depressed" moods, overall life is just a grand adventure (that's why I say it's "just grand" a lot). And I really do love it.  I have hope for the future. It's always brighter than you think. Especially when you involve Heavenly Father. Prayer is LEGIT. Try and out and see how legit it is.

Now, I must go find whatever it is I'm looking for (which is actually currently my punching board for bookbinding...).

Déjà vu

dé·jà vu   
[dey-zhah voo, vyoo; Fr. dey-zha vy]
–noun
1.Psychology . the illusion of having previously experienced something actually being encountered for the first time.

2.disagreeable familiarity or sameness: The new television season had a sense of déjà vu about it—the same old plots and characters with new names.


This is how I would describe my life right now...... contrary to popular belief, this is not a bad thing. For me right now, this is a GREAT thing. I'm back in Provo with a lot of the same characters and situations, but with AMAZING new and exciting additions. I'm not going to lie- there have been some moments where I find myself thinking "uh....didn't I do this already?" or "wait....what year is it?" or "WHAT THE....they're STILL here??? ( i'm sure they think that about me...but whatev). Or I see people doing ridiculous things and just laugh to myself because I know I've done that very same thing too, just 8 years ago... (e.g. pretending to stop and talk on the phone half way up th RB stays because they're out of breath, etc.) I just love Provo and I'm not ashamed to say that. I love being quasi-roommates with my mission comps (Thaiglish is spoken continuously). I am so blessed. I love that it's conference weekend and that I can listen (in English) to our Prophet. I love that this gospel is REAL and TRUE. I love my family (they're too good to me). I love my 2nd family (they're too good to me, too. Really) I love my 3rd family- you my friends. I couldn't ask for a better life....

...except that I need a "real" one...


but whatever....this is MY real life.

This is It!

Dearest Family (and friends)

3 John 1: 13-14

Love,

Sister O'Neil

Well hello there little girl (old men, friends, family and everyone else..)

It's OCTOBER... When did that happen?...and when did months turn into fortnights?

Last past week was great. We worked really hard trying to find new people to teach and helping our current investigators prepare for baptism. I was amazed by how many christian Thais we met this week (but then not when we go around asking people if they know any Christians.... it was still kinda surprising) A couple of investigators are right on track for baptism, and then others need a little more time... but such is life. I love how so individual and smart this gospel is. Heavenly Father really does love and know us all INDIVIDUALLY... That's why I'm not really worried about my future. I know that when I'm doing the things I need to do (keeping commandments and such) the Lord will help me out. So yes... I'm not going to lie. I don't want to come home.... at all... but I know it's coming...and it's starting to show up in my dreams (my dream from my nap this morning was ridiculous....) Life is crazy, I love it.. And I also don't want to talk about it.

But I will talk about the Relief Society broadcast. We took a klong monster (boat) into the city to go watch it. It was in English.. (so easy). It was so good! And Tommy was on a roll.... i loved it. How amazing is it that we have a living PROPHET! Oh man the church is true. Also interesting to note while watching the broadcast was my culture shock.... white people are WEIRD.... I'm pretty sure my companion thinks I'm weird because of how often I confuse this land as America.......I honestly feel like I'm in America...UNTIL I watched that broadcast and then it was like I was a drug addicts dream... I was so internally confused. I'm having an identity crisis... I can survive Bangkok Dangerous... but I don't know if I'll make it in White bread America (good thing I'm going back to LA... Thai town...yes please).

People.... Sorry my letters are not of any worth... I just feel like it's all a repeat for you... but I know in reality I really tell you nothing...sorry! I'm really excited for conference. I'm pretty sure it'll be all in Thai again. Yes! I love it, esp now that I understand it. I hope you all enjoyed listening to the words of our inspired leaders. Revelation is fabulous. I'm looking for some everyday. (ask and ye shall receive.)

Ok... I LOVE YOU ALL.. I hope you all have a great week. In fact.. this will be the BEST WEEK EVER... Amen.

Love, Sister O'Neil


P.S. Wendy... i LOVED your letter... My companion and I often take "glamor shots" Cody....and I love being "a part of your world"... lol..