So, the other day I was at a concert and the singer told us this story about how they met a happy newlywed couple at one of their shows. A year later they got a letter from the husband of this couple saying how they got a divorce because he cheated on his wife, and then expressed his appreciation for the band and continued by asking them to write a song about forgiveness, hope, yadda yadda yadda.. Good for him.

And that got me thinking....

Why do we feel the need to write to bands and express our feelings to them and tell them how they changed our life? I mean, don't get me wrong- there are DEFINITELY some bands/songs that changed and shaped my life and that I feel a strong connection/bond with. But I don't think I would ever write them a letter and tell them that. Maybe I'm just an ungrateful fan, or maybe I realize that they didn't write the song just for me, so I'm not about to sit down and write them a letter of gratitude (let's be honest, the only people getting letters from me these days are my two 'child" left on the mission...and they only get emails....).

With this is mind, I want to discuss an obsession of mine (yes, just one. I have too many). Although it's difficult for me to choose favorites in life (because it really depends on my mood), I've come to determine that my overall favorite band of all time is U2. This past May, my life-long dream/goal of experiencing their awesomeness in person came true (see U2 in concert... done and done.) oh man..I'm smiling RIGHT NOW just thinking about it! Retro-actively LOVE my life..Just look how happy I am:

I LOVE U2. I love that every time you tell someone that you love them back you say "I love you, too" . I love that when you hold up a peace sign it's like saying U2 (and representing peace and all of Asia - another love of mine). I love that anytime someone tells you "have a good day" (etc) you say "you too" back to them. See! It's great. I would say Bono and the The Edge did this on purpose, but I know the real story. They have music to match almost every single one of my moods. Just this morning I was feeling kind lazy and then Pandora played a U2 song that just got me so motivated for life. It was joyous.

The one song that seems to be my anthem in life right now is  "I Still Haven't Found What I'm looking For" Upon further study of the rest of the lyrics [cause although I might know every word while I'm actually SINGING ALONG with the song , I rarely pay enough attention to the words to really understand what it's saying (this has caused me to be appalled and shocked by some songs when I ACTUALLY read the lyrics and understand it... but...that's another story)]

So anyway... the WHOLE POINT to this blog post (cause let's be honest- there a myriad of topics I could address in this post ESPECIALLY since I haven't posted anything for the past 5 or so months...and I choose this?.......yeah......anyway........) is that even though I'm technically alive, I'm still trying to put together the pieces of my discombobulated life. And I constantly feel like "I still haven't found what I'm looking for". FOR REAL.  In all aspects in life is this true for me right now: Grad Schools,  boys (thanks everyone for your concern. I know I'm an old spinster in Mormon land......awesome), Jobs (ESPECIALLY jobs), etc, etc...


Please answer the following question:

Hilary is to success/purpose in life as:


A.Lady Gaga is to complete normalcy
B. BYU is to successfully receiving and holding onto a ball
C.Gigli is to winning an Oscar for best picture
D. The Titanic is to sailing across the Atlantic
E.  A, C and D
F. F M L

Congratulations!  5 points to you. You answered correctly.

So yes... I still haven't found what I'm looking for... but I also kinda love my life at the same time. I mean, just look at the song- look at all the cool things I've done in the mean time:

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil

Maybe I haven't done exactly that...but you get the point. Regardless of how I feel about my life in my most "depressed" moods, overall life is just a grand adventure (that's why I say it's "just grand" a lot). And I really do love it.  I have hope for the future. It's always brighter than you think. Especially when you involve Heavenly Father. Prayer is LEGIT. Try and out and see how legit it is.

Now, I must go find whatever it is I'm looking for (which is actually currently my punching board for bookbinding...).

Déjà vu

dé·jà vu   
[dey-zhah voo, vyoo; Fr. dey-zha vy]
–noun
1.Psychology . the illusion of having previously experienced something actually being encountered for the first time.

2.disagreeable familiarity or sameness: The new television season had a sense of déjà vu about it—the same old plots and characters with new names.


This is how I would describe my life right now...... contrary to popular belief, this is not a bad thing. For me right now, this is a GREAT thing. I'm back in Provo with a lot of the same characters and situations, but with AMAZING new and exciting additions. I'm not going to lie- there have been some moments where I find myself thinking "uh....didn't I do this already?" or "wait....what year is it?" or "WHAT THE....they're STILL here??? ( i'm sure they think that about me...but whatev). Or I see people doing ridiculous things and just laugh to myself because I know I've done that very same thing too, just 8 years ago... (e.g. pretending to stop and talk on the phone half way up th RB stays because they're out of breath, etc.) I just love Provo and I'm not ashamed to say that. I love being quasi-roommates with my mission comps (Thaiglish is spoken continuously). I am so blessed. I love that it's conference weekend and that I can listen (in English) to our Prophet. I love that this gospel is REAL and TRUE. I love my family (they're too good to me). I love my 2nd family (they're too good to me, too. Really) I love my 3rd family- you my friends. I couldn't ask for a better life....

...except that I need a "real" one...


but whatever....this is MY real life.

This is It!

Dearest Family (and friends)

3 John 1: 13-14

Love,

Sister O'Neil

Well hello there little girl (old men, friends, family and everyone else..)

It's OCTOBER... When did that happen?...and when did months turn into fortnights?

Last past week was great. We worked really hard trying to find new people to teach and helping our current investigators prepare for baptism. I was amazed by how many christian Thais we met this week (but then not when we go around asking people if they know any Christians.... it was still kinda surprising) A couple of investigators are right on track for baptism, and then others need a little more time... but such is life. I love how so individual and smart this gospel is. Heavenly Father really does love and know us all INDIVIDUALLY... That's why I'm not really worried about my future. I know that when I'm doing the things I need to do (keeping commandments and such) the Lord will help me out. So yes... I'm not going to lie. I don't want to come home.... at all... but I know it's coming...and it's starting to show up in my dreams (my dream from my nap this morning was ridiculous....) Life is crazy, I love it.. And I also don't want to talk about it.

But I will talk about the Relief Society broadcast. We took a klong monster (boat) into the city to go watch it. It was in English.. (so easy). It was so good! And Tommy was on a roll.... i loved it. How amazing is it that we have a living PROPHET! Oh man the church is true. Also interesting to note while watching the broadcast was my culture shock.... white people are WEIRD.... I'm pretty sure my companion thinks I'm weird because of how often I confuse this land as America.......I honestly feel like I'm in America...UNTIL I watched that broadcast and then it was like I was a drug addicts dream... I was so internally confused. I'm having an identity crisis... I can survive Bangkok Dangerous... but I don't know if I'll make it in White bread America (good thing I'm going back to LA... Thai town...yes please).

People.... Sorry my letters are not of any worth... I just feel like it's all a repeat for you... but I know in reality I really tell you nothing...sorry! I'm really excited for conference. I'm pretty sure it'll be all in Thai again. Yes! I love it, esp now that I understand it. I hope you all enjoyed listening to the words of our inspired leaders. Revelation is fabulous. I'm looking for some everyday. (ask and ye shall receive.)

Ok... I LOVE YOU ALL.. I hope you all have a great week. In fact.. this will be the BEST WEEK EVER... Amen.

Love, Sister O'Neil


P.S. Wendy... i LOVED your letter... My companion and I often take "glamor shots" Cody....and I love being "a part of your world"... lol..

9/26/10

Well Well Well....

Here we are at the end of September... needless to say, that's just blowing my mind a little bit.

So was this week..

Here's the run down:

My favorite thing about this week (besides Di coming to church) was the opportunity to go and do exchanges in my old area Saphan Sung! You know I LOVED my life. It was like Christmas, but better be case there were klong paths involved. I MISSED THAT SO MUCH.. favorite part of Thailand, and I don't know why... It's like a real life video game. It was great to see the old house, and the old church, and the NEW church! While I was there they were building a new church (a real church and not just a rented 4 story office building). I'm pretty sure I almost shed a tear when I saw it for the first time. It was huge and beautiful! It really helped me realize that YES, the church is growing here in THailand. So yes... we taught some amazing investigators, with some help from amazing members in an equally amazing building. I love me life. And to top it all off, I got to teach "Gift" again.. One of my favorite people ever. It was great to see her and hear about her life for the last year. she's getting married in November. (8 days after I get home ) But that's ok. I'll just go to her temple sealing in a couple years after her Boyfriend (husband) gets baptised. So yay! I love my life.

We also had more training this past Saturday. That was good... I'm still so bad at this game of missionary-ness... so that was good to be enlightened. Oh, thanks for the mail everyone. We especially loved the pics Cody. i guess it's true, right at the beginning and right at the end everyone writes... so it's basically now or never... If you don't send it by the 9th, i might not get it. Just FYI...

Life is Bankapi is great. I love this ward. Every week is an adventure and I'm trying to keep up with it all. Sister Itow continues to keep me laughing. I love her. And I love that her name is a specific type of knife... and there's a legend about a horse woman attached to it.. hahah..

I love the rain... last night there was a huge storm... We went out to "dan Jones" and then we got stuck in the rain... and then we asked to stand under a persons parking garage thing, but we ended up just sitting in the house talking until the power went out, and they took us home and let us borrow an umbrella.. THai people are great.

This week should be great. We get to go see the RS session this weekend. And then conference next week! yes!!! So, yes. Take care this week. Have fun, be safe and live after the manner of happiness.

I love you all!

Love,

Sister O'Neil

9/19/10

Greetings from Siam,

Dearest family and friends... please forgive me letters, as I know they are not really informative or of worth lately. I'm trying to repent.

This week was great! We had a mission tour with Elder Perkins (In the Asian area presidency) which consisted of a full day of feasting ( on the good word and delicious Thai food). It was great to meet them, and it reminded me of last years tour with Elder Pratt. The two are so opposite, but both incredible. I especially loved getting to know sister Perkins a tiny bit. We talked all about receiving personal revelation and did a good activity of writing down two questions at the beginning of the meeting, and seeing how quickly the Lord Answers you. So yes. I would suggest that everyone do this kind of activity in your personal study or when watching conference or anything or the sort.. It's amazing how much you can receive when you ask. (thank you scriptures... ask and you shall receive) Truth. Fact. Awesome. It's changed my life, again. So that day was fun...especially the surprise talk I had to give. Thank goodness I prepared something. (also another principle I've been learning- preparation. Preparation is everything! Just read the scriptures again and see how important it is..and then think about the plan of salvation too... what is the purpose of life? yes, that's right... preparing.) This week we hosted a new Thai sister for a day. She just went to the MTC with the 8 other Thai missionaries who will be entering next moves. Sister Alisa is so cute. Plus it was fun to be with a khon Thai again. I think it would have been fun to be with another Thai companion at the end of my mission... but I've only ever had one...Sister Cherry (love). Maybe will get to host Sister Alisa again the week before moves... that would be fun. This week it rained a lot.. Thank goodness it didn't rain for more than 3 hours at a time... In only that 3 hours that it poured it flooded our entire street... a couple more hours and we would have come home to a flooded house... So good thing it rains in spurts and has some drain time.


Ok.. soo things are good and I love my life. I hope you all have a great week and I will talk to you next week.

Love,

Sister O'Neil

Hello dearest people,

well, I'm not going to lie.. I don't really know what to write. I've spent most of my time writing Pres Smith and watching Mormon messages on lds.org (SO GOOD... go watch them). So if you want to know how I'm feeling, watch the "listening to the spirit" and the "thanksgiving" one.

Life is grand here in Bankgapi. We're teaching a couple new families, and Ilene's getting ready to be baptised. We're having a mission tour with Elder Parkinson on Wed. That should be fun. I love my companion. We really are from California... and we only got sick once this week. yay!

Today I'm taking her "downtown" yay!.

Sorry I really wrote nothing today. Such is life.

All is well. I love my life.

Read the scriptures and follow the prophet.


Love, Sister O'Neil